does anyone else have this other self they’ve created in their mind that is not really exactly you irl but is more like what you want to be and has a life that continues in your head with like weird continuing daydreams but they’re not perfect or anything and wow i forget where i was going with this




some of the funniest jokes on gravity falls

You forgot 


I honestly don’t know why I’m not allowed to watch this.





Sea world should be wiped the fuck out

Seaworld, zoos, circuses

Always reblog, spread the message.

Actually many zoos are very important for environmental education, conservation, and rehab. Sea world and circus’s are shitty organizations that profit off of the animals they treat like tourist attractions instead of living creatures.


one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there

How rape trials should go?
Lawyer: Did he rape her?

Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.

Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?

Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-

Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?

Witness: Yes, but-

Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?

Witness: Yes.

Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.

Title: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Sped Up
Artist: FOB
Played: 91233 times

send me some! 1. What are you doing right now?
2. What's the last thing you ate?
3. What's the last alcoholic drink you had?
4. Who is your favorite follower?
5. Describe the person you like?
6. Have you ever cheated on someone?
7. Ever been cheated on?
8. Biggest lie you've ever told?
9. What kind of shampoo do you use?
10. Who is your favorite family member?
11. 5 celebrities you find attractive?
12. Who was your first kiss with?
13. What kind of cellphone do you have?
14. What color is the shirt you're wearing?
15. Is there any person you would do anything for?
16. What are you listening to right now?
17. What is the meaning behind your URL?
18. Do you like horror movies?
19. Last person you texted?
20. How long does it take you to get ready for the day?
21. Pick one food to eat for the rest of your life?
22. Last person that pissed you off?
23. Do you have any followers that you talk to regularly?
24. Would you rather go to a concert or be in a band?
25. Favorite Disney movie?
26. Coke or Pepsi?
27. Favorite restaurant?
28. Favorite comedian?
29. How long have you had your Tumblr?
30. What's on your mind right now?
31. Do you watch any reality TV shows?
32. Have you showered today?
33. Cuddling or Spooning?



all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic


the post that doesn’t age









Okay, I’ll be honest here. We’ve all seen a tonne of posts promoting our very own AmazingPhil, as we want to give him the help we can to reach 2 million subscribers.

Now, he is actually getting really freaking close, with less than 50k to go.

(Before anyone says anything - of course, it’s not always about the number of people, it’s about the quality of the content - and Phil makes some extraordinary content that deserves more recognition imo)

Seeing as the Phandom (as well as other parts of the YouTube community) has helped Tyler Oakley gain 50k subs in something as little as 2 or 3 days, who says we can’t do the same with Phil?

Basically, this is kinda like a mating call for the rest of the YouTube community to help out the Phandom, even if you just reblog this one post - maybe we could get the Twitter part of the community to trend something like #Philto2Million - as he really deserves it.

Phil Lester is actually a ball of sunshine, he is so kind and caring, and his dedication to his videos is unbelievable. I think it’s safe to admit he comes off as a bit weird, but that’s why we love him. He teaches us to embrace our individuality, as well as so many other things.

If you want, you can add onto this post explaining your reasons for liking/subscribing to him, as there are so many other reasons that I love Phil Lester. 

So please, go subscribe to AmazingPhil - if you already have, spread the word by reblogging this, or you can repost this on any social media - do whatever, as long as it helps this wonderful guy reach his next biggest goal <3

he has only 21,176 left until 2 million subscribers!



15,000 to go!




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